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Trying to “maintain balance” is often heard echoing in the halls of schools as we try to complete the papers, assignments, transcripts and process what we are learning. Add on the unexpected events such as car repairs, lost keys, finding funding, or even having to move can easily through us off balance. It is perhaps the struggle to maintain balance that can cause us the most stress. We are studying to be counselors, but can have trouble practicing the very things that we want to help our clients achieve.
Perhaps its time to discard the idea of :balance. The concept of balancing the scale implies using opposing or reducing force on one side of the equilibrium point. A better model presented is the life wheel of spirit, body, mind and community. But even this model doesn’t fit well in graduate school. Your wheel has a huge lump on one side called graduate school that causes it to turn in a wobbly manner and always seems to be out of balance – but recognizing this time as temporary stage in your career and personal growth is important to your mental, emotional and spiritual health.
During graduate school, most of us don’t have a full we can put aside - but a few minutes of restoration each day can do wonders. Here are some guidelines you can follow. These helped me immensely while in graduate school. I still use these concepts today as a teacher.
Eat Well. Rest Well, and Exercise!
At any time in your life, it is a good practice to eat well, get some exercise and rest appropriately. This is also very true during the graduate school. Select your groceries well and prepare nutritious meals for yourself. Schedule some rest time during the day, and try to exercise even if it’s only moderately. It will help you immensely to maintain better health during and after this process.
Create a Personal Shrine
It is helpful to create a small space in your dwelling that will help you focus on your goals and help centre yourself. Include a picture of religious or spiritual significance to you, a book that inspires you, photos of friends and significant relationships, and an item that represents your goals. A few seconds of stillness each day to focus on these items can help reduce stress and keep you focused.
Soothing Behaviours
With the stress of a graduate program and the fact that I had moved to a new city, I found myself stressed and needing a recharge. My head was so full of the things that I had to do that I felt overwhelmed. A friend asked “what do you do to soothe yourself?” I could not come up with any answers. I have since learned that my stress level gets lowered when I set aside some time for relaxation - even if it is only a few minutes. During this time, I do one or two things that I have discovered to be soothing behaviors. I sing, play my guitar or spend time with my cat. Of course, the behaviors that you find soothing are personal. The things you find soothing may reflect your own interests and hobbies. Develop a sense of what works for you!
Just as many of us have different interests, the things you do to relax vary as well. Since I did not want to list only my soothing behaviors, I posted a message on the Internet asking people what soothing things they did. Here are some of the suggestions: -
-gardening: transplanting, feeding, watering and nurturing
- playing a musical instrument
- playing with a pet (pets are non-judgmental)
- singing
- listening to music
- talking to a (real) best friend
- drawing
- a warm bath, with the bathroom lit by candles
- watching a favorite TV show or movie with a friend or pet
- lie on a blanket in the backyard or park with a book
- go to the library, bookstore, arboretum, museum or art gallery
- cook or bake
- read a good book
- journaling
- drink a cup of tea, hot chocolate or steamed milk
- exercise (even just walking is fine)
- volunteer at a place that provides a sense of community
- make a list of things you like about yourself
- get away to nature
- cuddle up with a teddy bear
- have some chocolate (this was a common response!)
- take a yoga class
- laugh!
Breathe!
Most people don’t know how to breathe. Take deep diaphragm breathes. The clearing of the lungs of stale air and replenishing with fresh air has profound healing and stress reducing benefits. Learn to bring energy into your body from your breath. For more info you can read “The Science of Breath” It’s a free e-book available at healingresources.org.
Halt!
Recognize the warning signs. There is a saying in twelve step groups – Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? H.A.L.T! If people are telling you to slow down or are showing concern, listen to them. I remember a professor telling me that I looked really tired. “Can you take a break in any way?” he asked. I took a 3 hour ferry ride over to a local island, stayed at a hostel, did some reading and came back the following day. Getting out of the city helped clear the cobwebs and rejuvenate me.
Humour!
Most importantly, have a sense of humor! One day a fellow student asked me “What are you taking this term?” I replied “Prozac!” After the laughter around us subsided, we talked about the courses we were both taking. Appropriate humour builds bridges. Be able to laugh!
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